Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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