i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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