Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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