just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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