Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
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You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize