he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
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guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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