It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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