You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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