is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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