ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
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Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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