Having a random hookup so left but love u
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize