Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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