was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize