grandma shit on top of the toilet
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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