Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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