She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize