At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize