the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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