After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize