Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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