so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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