it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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