i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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