So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
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Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
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I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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