covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
sarcasm needs its own font
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize