Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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