we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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