Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
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I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
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Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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