if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize