the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize