Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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