Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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