How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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