I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize