I wish I only lived at night.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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