Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize