We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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