new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
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I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
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I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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