oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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