You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
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Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
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I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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