one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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