i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
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She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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