i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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