i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize