my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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