I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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