clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize