no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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