Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize