Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize